Sallamu Alaikum Iqra. Please hide my ID I’m a professional teacher at age 25 married n have a daughter who’s almost two years come January.I need your assistance am married to a business man. Initially I wanted to settle with a kusasi man who has seen a lot and is a nurse. But unfortunately his family refused because of my tribe n on my part too my dad refused because of the same. Due to differences best known to them.
My dad never told me the reason but that guy family made it clear to him that we Kassena ladies there are no proper Muslims they once had a daughter in law of same tribe who packed all her belongings and run away including the man’s own. So he can’t marry me.
Also ant suitor my parents present though the person is well to do n also my tribe I refuse n even before I finally present my nurse that the refuse any man I present with simplicity n iman they refuse. More so I never presented my tribe mate. Cos the guys too is had to get a guy with iman, sympathetic n humane. Low n behold my elder sister introduced me to my husband I refused till finally when I completed college n people I bring they refuse I decided to give him a try with the condition exactly three months he should get the Nikah done.
I only visited the family house where he stayed twice first for the parents to know me n the second after I heard remorse he had a child n never married the lady. I went there to know why n what went wrong finally all what he cld tell me was it’s childishness n Pity issues. I came home n after thinking over it and asked my Sis she she said she’s not aware but I forget of it as am issue and decided we move on because my elder Sis too has a child out of wedlock that’s that mean no one will marry her for that mistake .
Then exactly three months the Nikah was done. Just after a week I begin to see wonders both from the parents siblings and himself. Almost every week issues when I leave for work I come to meet war n funny enough the parents will constantly stand behind our window or move around to see if we are quarrelling n each time that happiness I in the television with speakers n open last volume so no one could here us because he has a loud voice when his angry.
When I come out they watch me to see if am angry or anything happened yet I give them a sweet smiling face which always get them confused. As for privacy they don’t know it they ever with children in the family house into our Matrimonial bedroom till its time for us to sleep then I asked them to leave because I want to lock the room or better still I ignore everyone n try to sleep. Finally I got pregnant after three months in our marriage and in fact it was hell as at that time I was still not on salary he won’t give me a penny for antenatal.
I applied n had admission to further my studies while I was 3 months pregnant he refused to pay my admission fees Alhamdulilah just a week to the due date my salary came with accumulation. I paid my fees went with the pregnancy even delivered at dawn n still return that faithful morning to write my exam papers that day. Alhamdulilah I just completed successfully but common hospital bills he won’t pay till I run out of money because my child is the sickle cell type. Even to feed her one time he said he can’t buy milk for me to give her his mother’s time there was nothing like lactogen.
I don’t have enough breast milk so she was malnourished. Not knowing anytime he travels to South his there with his side chicks at beach and clubbing. I had every evidence n even s contact of a lady his so much into. I confronted the lady to please marry him so he cloud stay at home and be a responsible man. Hmm she insulted me that I can’t be the one to tell her when to Marry. Meanwhile anytime she visits her hometown here he visits her a lot n chats with her even in my presence on call. He traveled for three months he never came home our daughter too I spent all my money getting her milk n medication utility bills almost everything I became the man n woman as well.
On the part of the family they hate me. On his return he bought a brand new corolla s I heard the rumor long before he even Intentended traveling cos he deceive me his going to work on some business papers. Yet I believed him. But to feed n cloth the child is a problem our health care everything from my salary I can’t even save a coin. Finally I packed home my dad is no more. N mum drove me to return n I refused till his people came pleaded n I forgave him n return n in fact back to old shoe n even worse. Clubbing have several side chicks goes anywhere without informing me almost everyday we quarrel but when he wants sex he knows how to boss n avail himself. Frankly speaking I’m planning to pack out or go on transfer we living together for a week now he sleeps in the hall n am in bedroom with our daughter no talking every form of communication. I need help my marriage is collapsing.